Bonnie Barton I really enjoyed this article. Dating for 7+ years and then getting engaged, I have a particular take on this. I may get a lot of pushback on my point of view, but I have to say this: those who don’t want to define a relationship with the person they’ve been sleeping with, is because they don’t want to have a committed relationship with them. They want the perks of sex, without the responsibility or accountability. I was like this when I started dating after my divorce. No way did I want to be in a relationship. I was too hurt by my divorce, but still wanted sex and the affection of a man.

Over time (years later) I started wanting a relationship, but I was still dating men who “didn’t want to define a relationship” with me. Although this worked for me at the beginning of my dating, after a while it was just leading me on when I started to desire a committed relationship. It’s fine to not want a relationship, but I don’t think a person should cloak their love of freedom or singledom by saying relationship status is limiting and create a pseudo-relationship with a person who desires to have a partner. Just be honest and say you don’t want a relationship. You’ll find others who don’t either. Don’t string them along and lead them to believe you do, but don’t want to put a label on it. Because you really don’t want one.

There, I said it.

❤ ❤ ❤

btw, love your new pic! Gorgeous!

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Advocate for Women / Editor of The Virago

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