There’s a difference between sometimes watching porn and being addicted to porn. I was married to a man who discreetly watched porn so much that it negatively impacted our relationship. I didn’t even know he was watching porn, but his addiction creeped into our sex life, which was mechanical and practically non-existent. He had weird ideas about sex that came from his evangelical upbringing, which I’m sure contributed to his porn addiction, along with guilt and believing that sex was dirty.

Anyone who’s very much into porn seems to have abnormal, unrealistic ideas of sex and what an intimate partnership looks like. Yes, I know the difference between casual porn-watching, and then having it taken to the extent where it is considered cheating, because it’s being substituted for real sex with his partner. I think porn is destructive to relationships, I experienced it first-hand. I even wrote a blog about it:

I’m glad you’ve never had any devastating experiences from your partner abusing porn, but please be open to the fact that some of us have suffered greatly by the porn-cheating we’ve experienced from our partners who have replaced us with porn as a major part of his sex life.

Written by

Advocate for Women / Editor of The Virago

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